thubelihle maduma

"Let go and Let God", words we always encourage our loved ones with when they seem to be having trouble with moving on. "Let Go and Let God", words we wish to apply into action when we see that there is nothing more we can do in a situation but to move on. "Let Go and Let God", words that carry so much meaning and life, words that can renew strength and strengthen faith. However "Let Go and Let God" are also words that are so much easier said than done. December 2015, one of the best times of my life. Not only did I have my first missionary camp experience, but also got to meet the man of my ‘dreams’. Could things be any more perfect, I mean spiritually I was doing well, I think; academically I got distinctions in all my modules; family was well; health was on point; friends check and now intimately too… I mean what more could a girl ask for. Fast forward to 2016 later in the year, the relationship ended because of distance amongst many o...

So it seemed, that it was cool, for everyone to be in a relationship but me. So I took matters into my own hands and…ended up with him. Him, who displayed the characteristics of a cheater, a liar, an abuser and a thief. So why was I surprised when he broke into my heart? I called 911, but I was cardiac-arrested for aiding and abetting, ’cause it was me who let him in, claiming we were “just friends.” It was already decided for me by the first date that even if he wasn’t, I was gonna make him “The One.” You know…I was tired of being alone, and I simply made up in my mind, that it was about that time so I decided to drag him along for the ride, ’cause I was always the bridesmaid and never the bride. A virgin in the physical, but mentally just a grown woman on the corner in heat, who was tired of the wait, so I was gonna make him “The One.” he had a…form of godliness, but not much. But, but, hey, hey, I can change him, so I’ll take him, I mean he’s close… enough. Ready to...

If you just like me, have been praying longing, wanting,needing something. Or you have be suffering, struggling with something. God says am silent but not absent. I hear you and I need you now to hear me.  May the Lord speak to you, workout your patience and strengthen your faith as you ponder prayerfully to these words... Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried. Quietly, patiently, lovingly, He replied. I pleaded, and I wept for a clue to my fate, And the Master so gently said, “Child, you must wait.”   “Wait? Your say wait??” my indignant reply. “Lord, I need answers, I need to know why. Is your hand shortened?  Or have you not heard? By faith I have asked, and I’m claiming your Word.   “My future, and all to which I can relate Hangs in the balance, and you tell me ‘wait’? I’m needing a ‘yes’, a go-ahead sign, Or even a ‘no’, to which I can resign.   “And Lord, you have promised that if we believe,  We need but...

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. 28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth .” Genesis 1:27-28 Adam might be a real shock to look at today. We have no idea what a perfect human would look like, even when we try to imagine it. God created Adam powerful physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. He and Eve walked and talked with God and were designed to be co-managers of the whole planet. God was the Maker, and of course, Sovereign. He decided how things were to be done and made all the rules. There were only two: Love God. Love everybody else. Do it with all you’ve got. Everything they did, from keeping the garden to celebrating the Sabbath, was based on that one Great Law of Love.  Angels were mess...

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. . Genesis 1:27 There were only two handmade people in history. Genesis says that God “formed” Adam from earth and Eve from his rib. He spoke everything else into existence, but people He chose to build, to model, like a sculptor making a statue. Except that no sculptor ever was able to breathe life into his or her creations! Imagine God bending over the clay, carefully shaping Adam’s nose, creating each finger and toe, deciding how tall he would be and what kind of hair to give him. Imagine Him later putting Adam into a deep sleep, taking a rib from near his heart, and fashioning it into the perfect partner Adam had been longing for, the most beautiful handmade woman the world has ever known.  Then imagine being Eve and opening your eyes for the first time. Hovering over you is the shining face of your Maker, beaming on you with love and joy. You sit up and take a breath...

A lot has happened since my last diary entry, I overcame that day and yielded to temptation the next. That made me really frustrated and disappointed with myself, I mean how could I? After so much effort not to. Ever heard of the saying it is better NOT TO BEGIN than to stop. It is not after these last few months that I really understood the depth of that quote. We are truly our worst enemy. Having to unlearn what your brain and body has registered as normal….huuu that is one battle most tough to conquer, isn’t it?. Your habits become second nature, they make up who you are. Either public or private, good or bad whether done consciously or unconsciously, they are all you? And it is not going to take a miracle to learn the good ones, or be conscious of the bad….it needs your 100% effort and commitment combined with God and trust in his transforming power. Guess that’s what the Lord wanted me to learn these past months. That on my own, am just going to keep trying, but not get anywhe...

Growing up, I always considered David to be the evil guy. You know that one who took his servant’s wife and killed him. Well it was when I looked at my life deeply some while ago I learnt that I too as a Bathsheba played a part too. She was wilfully involved in the whole ordeal. She might have not purposely initiated it but she fulfilled its possibility of occurrence. She could have chosen to reject David’s seduction because she was a married woman. I mean her husband did when David asked him to sleep with her (as a cover up). If Uriah as David’s servant could refuse the king’s command, why couldn’t she. So as much as David might have lured her in some way ending with killing Urah, she too had a hand in her husband’s death. It all began with the decision she made when David called for her, She had every right and capability to say no. Joseph did to Potiphar's wife, didn’t he? But before we speak about choices we make consciously (topic for another day), today let’s consider thos...

Woke up today day like any other day.         Feeling a bit lazy but happy. I made my bed, brushed my teeth, I had my breakfast and cleaned the house.         I was suppose to do some work,Bu t for some reason I kept on procrastinating I ended up opening my Whatsapp instead.       And as expected messages started flocking in Some more urgent than others And others responses from the previous night conversations. As I began to respond to the text messages in their order of urgency, I get a text from him. Yes, him. The man that I had given my heart The man who I thought my heart was safe with  The man whom I decided to love The man who looked me in my eyes and told me how much he cared The man who told me that the thought of losing me made him scared         Theee man that told me I was special, that I was of a unique species.     Yes, that man...

Hie there Welcome to 2019 (never mind that am saying this 3 months after it has begun already) hope you have been blessed thus far. It has been an interesting journey for me. I mean a lot has happened in such a little time. One of which is I invested in a relationship, and it showed me flames... yeah i got really burnt, badly. More like a 3rd degree burn right into the inner layer of my skin.😊😊 Ohk maybe am exaggerating, but the point is I got hurt. It was so bad that i even started questioning if there was something wrong with me, like what did i not do right. I mean I think am a submissive woman, I dress okaaay, have good behavioral manners (my parents like to say), i am considerate, very budgety, jovial and all the other things that might come to your mind when you think of me.  All these questioned crossed my mind every single day after the break up. I felt at the time that maybe I didn't try enough, maybe I didn't respect him enough, maybe i wasn't intelligent...